Reasons I Am STILL Sitting In My Car

(Even though I pulled into this parking spot 15 minutes ago)

1. I needed to check my email. I needed to check ALL of my email.

2. It's cold out there.

3. The kids are super annoyed that we're just sitting here, in this car, and that's good, because they need to learn that the world does not revolve around them.

4. I'm waiting for it to stop being windy. 

Because I'm just so scared.

5. That guy just pulled into the spot next to me, and he'll think I'm weird if I just suddenly get out of my car right now. He needs to think I'm just chilling here for a reason. Like, maybe I'm waiting for someone, or maybe I'm checking my email, or maybe I live in this car. This man needs to believe I'm reasonable. It's important.

6. I'm an introvert.

7. The angry neighbor lady is ranting near the dumpster again, and she might be unstable. Leaving the car would be risky.

8. This NPR story is probably about to become fascinating.

9. I'm about to beat this level.

10. This song will be over in a minute.

11. That school bus just dropped off a bunch of high school kids feet away from my car. And everyone knows it's best to maintain a decent amount of distance between oneself and teenagers. 

12. There are lots of kids out riding bikes today and it would be better to stay in my car because what if my sudden presence outside of my car startled one of them and they fell, and maybe sustained head injuries and it would be ALL MY FAULT.

13. Existential crisis.

14. My house is messy, so it's better if I don't go inside of it.

15. I have to make a list.

16. The cat is mean and prone to biting. She is currently not in the car, so I am safe here.

17. It's much better for everyone if I just keep to myself...here...in this car.

18. I finally got the heater to kick on and actually work, and it would be a crying shame not to at least spend a few minutes basking in the glorious warmth.

19. You just can't be too careful these days.

20. I can't go out there looking like this.

21. Opening car doors is hard work, and it's such a very long walk to the building, and I've just worked so hard all day long, and wouldn't it be best for me to rest myself a little while?

22. Those construction workers over there might judge me for my sweatpants.

23. Those construction workers over there might accidentally drop a shingle on my head again.

24. The UPS truck is parked on our street, and it is entirely possible that it will be delivering to my house, and if I'm walking up to the house at the exact moment the UPS guy is, that would be so awkward.

25. Change is hard.