Food Allergy FAQs

The Enemy

As a result of my last post, I've convinced myself that I need to become more proactive in educating the public on the important topic of food allergies in children.  I encounter so many questions from friends, family, and total strangers, that it only seems right to address them here.  After all, this is the appropriate forum for serious discussion, n'est pas?


The following are actual questions (or passive-aggressive statements that imply questions) I have been asked.  I will attempt to answer them as knowledgeably as possible:

1)  I heard this whole food allergy thing is an overblown myth, and that most kids with food allergies, don't actually have them at all.  Can the Dictator eat this peanut butter granola bar?

The answer to your second question is, I'm really sorry, but "no."  And if you wouldn't mind backing a few feet away from us, that would be super awesome.

The answer to your first question is actually, "maybe."  At least, "maybe" to the overblown part.  Recent studies have actually shown that blood testing might give false positives and that many food allergic children may not be as allergic to some things as the testing shows.  Unfortunately, the only way to know for sure if your child is one of those false positives is to give her to Great Aunt Sally (who doesn't believe in food allergies) for the day and tell her to go ahead and feed your child lunch.  If you end up in the ER, chances are your tests were accurate.  Congratulations!  And of course, even if your child doesn't react this time, allergic sensitivity fluctuates over time, so lunch with ol' Sally next week might prove fatal.  I'm not interested in that risk.

2)  What do you think about this whole "no birthday treats at school" malarkey?  Since you're the parent of a kid with allergies (and seem like a total pushover), I'd like your opinion.

Aw, thanks for valuing my doormat-like opinion so highly.  I'd be happy to validate your impression that it is all "malarkey."  The Dictator, on the other hand, will tell you (through tears of disappointment and heartbreak) that it kind of sucks being the only kid to have to sit it out while all the other friends lick the frosting off of Spiderman cupcakes right in front of her.  But, you know, I totally feel your pain.

3)  I hear that breastfeeding prevents food allergies in children.

Yeah.  Me too.  Funny thing...the Dictator breastfed until she was almost two.  (Which, by the way, was no idyllic bonding session for me, as her eating habits resembled those of a narcoleptic Tasmanian Devil).  Like you, person passive-aggressively implying that I am a worse mother than you, I breastfed.  I'm sure it will have lasting benefits for my child.  But I can tell you that avoiding allergies was not one of those benefits.  Now please get down off your high horse so I can give you the pat on the back you so desperately seek.

4)  Do you have to carry an Epi-pen?  That must be a relief/source of ever-present anxiety, huh?

Yes.  And yes/yes.  Actually, more anxiety than relief.  When the allergist first presented it to me and went over proper procedures for ramming it into my infant and calling 911, I burst into tears and rocked in the fetal position on the exam table (holding the baby, of course) for the next hour (because that's how long it takes for them to process paperwork, apparently).  I actually cried more then, than when I found out the Anarchist might not be born with functioning lungs.  Go figure.  I have since cheered myself up by purchasing a super-cute overpriced pencil case in which to store the dreadful, but important device.  It has cupcakes on it (ones without peanuts, of course).  It makes me smile.

Just Say "No" to peanut butter death bars.

5)  So...can she actually not eat anything with nuts in it?   What about this peanut butter granola bar?

Right.  No.  Back away.  Thanks.

6)  Well, if there's only a likelihood of cross-contamination she can eat it, right?  

Yeah, not so much.  I mean, statistically speaking risking her life in this way to make things easier on everyone might not be so problematic.  She will probably not encounter peanut shards in that potentially cross-contaminated cereal, so, you know, it makes sense to just go ahead and hope for the best.  But it turns out that I'm highly uncomfortable playing Russian roulette with my baby's ability to not choke to death.  Call me a softy.

7)  What on earth do you guys eat?

You know, it's funny because I also used to get this question a lot as a vegetarian.  I think people just pictured me grazing on greens like a rabbit all day, which is the farthest thing from the truth because I can pack away more cheese and bread than any creature currently known to science.  The question gains a little more validity when asked of a family with peanut allergies.  The answer is, anything that doesn't contain: peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shellfish, or sesame.  (Also, ice cream, most candy and bakery goods are inherently unsafe.  Boo hiss!)

8)  How do you know for sure the Dictator has allergies?

Golly.  That's a good question.  With all these tests going awry, it's hard to be certain.  But I think I'll have to trust that time she woke up in the middle of the night gasping, covered in hives from head to toe, with ears like a troll/gnome/whatever fantasy creature has giant ears, I dunno.

9)  What do you think about (insert most recent medical study here)?  It seems to say that food allergies are the result of psychosomatic projection on the part of the parent/coupled with false test results/compounded by hatred for non-food-allergic kids/paired with (insert irresponsible parenting tactic here).  So...that means she can have this peanut butter granola bar, right?

Yeah.  I'm sure (insert most recent medical study here) has a great deal of scientific value and will further the important research of food allergies and their causes.  That being said, I really, really wish you didn't know about  (insert most recent medical study here), because you're totally going to misinterpret its findings as being final and all-encompassing and try to give my kid a peanut butter granola bar as a result.  Now put down the peanuty-death bar and back slowly away.  Thanks.

10)  Don't they just grow out of "those?"  

Actually, many kids grow out of certain allergies by the time they are in preschool.  That's the good news.  The Dictator grew out of her egg allergy, so now we can have real cake and not that stuff that reminds me of the foam pit I used to vault into in gymnastics class.  Hooray!  Unfortunately, with peanut allergies (and shellfish, I think), the likelihood of outgrowing the allergy decreases to almost nil if the allergic child's allergy levels increase before the child's fifth birthday.  Which means that, for most kiddos, the nut/fish thing (and of course, other allergies as well) is a lifelong thing.  So we won't be outgrowing ours any time soon, I'm afraid.

11)  Why is your daughter ruining my child's life?

Because we don't like you.  You ask too many passive-aggressive questions.  Also, we're just kind of diabolical sociopaths like that.

12)  I'm an old person.  We didn't have "food allergies" in my day.  Do you hate America?

I know.  I'm sorry.  Change is hard.  And yes, with a fiery passion.  That's why we still live here.

I hope this was helpful for those of you with questions about food allergies.  After all, some of them are even valid/useful!  For real, though, if you have actual questions that you want a real (and not nasty, frustrated and unfairly snarky) response to, please refer to the FAAN website.  ( I think they might even use real science and statistics and stuff...fancy).