Coffee Culture

The Anarchist participates in Operation Caffeination at
The Coffee Bean.  She is assisted by her trusty,
"chocolate milk, chocolate milk."

In my previous post, I discussed the intense academic training it is necessary for our children to undergo in preparation for our economic/handwriting war against China.  And while the entire Morton family is working hard to assure that our nation wins that war, there is another form of preparation going on, too.  Because the fact of the matter is that there is always the potential that the United States will not  fall to Chinese efficiency (I mean, they've got a way disproportionate population of rural old folk with which to contend, so it's possible, right?).  In this case, our subdivision would not turn into rice paddies, and things would continue as normal in Mid-American Suburbia.  Hence, our contingency plan:  Operation Caffeination.

Operation Caffeination refers to the socialization process by which the Dictator and Anarchist become familiar and comfortable living within the complexities of borgeouis culture.

Within middle-class suburban culture,
it is crucial to develop a conversational style
that appears intense and important while
remaining trivial.

The Anarchist works on her
"concerned about the state of humanity" look.

Looking pretentiously over-educated
is a crucial part of coffee shop culture.

The training begins early and occurs often.  The Dictator has already completed her initial course of cultural submersion.  The Anarchist is in the midst of hers.  This training consists of a daily trip to one of any number of local coffee shops.  Variety is key, as cultural mores shift subtly from franchise to franchise.

Here is the Anarchist at a Starbucks.
In this context, it is not necessary
to appear anti-establishment.  One can
happily bask in one's own conformity.

Currently, the Anarchist is undergoing courses in Elitist Facial Expressions and Masking Gossip as Intellectual Debate.  She has already successfully completed Responsible Tipping and Conversational Barista.  We plan to introduce Advanced Scone Identification and Wi-Fi and You this spring.

The Anarchist practices her skills
at a wide variety of coffee establishments.
Here she is in a cafe attached to a bookstore.
In this setting it is important to appear literate
while cramming your mouth full of cookie.

 While she is majoring in Cultural Coffee Studies, she plans to have minor concentrations in Chain Store Consumption and i-Phone Browsing.  We anticipate great success for her and hope that she will have occasion to live out her lifelong goals of either:  1)  Moving to Portland to engage in elitist hipster culture, or  2)  Becoming a suburbanite slob.  Best of luck to you, Anarchist!

Conversing about non-important issues as if they have far-reaching significance.