Best of the Anarchist and the Dictator

Here at the Morton household, we're all sick.  Well, we're all sick with the exception of the Bureaucrat who never gets sick...because that would be inefficient.  But I'm afraid if I don't keep posting to this thing, I might lose my momentum.  I operate completely on momentum, so that would be a sad, sad, thing.  What would the world do without hearing more random Morton-ness?  

So in the spirit of keeping this thing going, here's a look back at some of the best quotes from the Anarchist and the Dictator this year:

The Dictator on Men:

the Dictator: "Maybe I will marry someone from my preschool class when I get bigger." 

Me: "You never know. Is there someone from your preschool class you would like to marry?" 
the Dictator (blushing): "Yes. Someone very special." 

Me: "Oh really? Who?" 

the Dictator: "I would like to marry Attractive Preschool Boy because he is such a sweetie."

Me: "Yeah? What do you like about him?" 

the Dictator: "He has a really nice hat. It looks so good on him."

Me: "I see." 

the Dictator: "Mom, how do you make an engagement ring?" 

Me: "Usually you don't give engagement rings until you are a grownup." 

the Dictator: "A star. A star would be the perfect thing to put on his very special ring when I ask him to marry me."

‎"Attractive Preschool Boy has dark hair. He's a very nice boy. He sneezed all over all the toys today. I played with the toys, too. He doesn't know how to cover his mouth with his arm. Maybe he was too tired."

 "Sweet Little Blond Boy really loves me.  He wants to marry me.  We're having a wedding.  He doesn't like Angry Braid-Puller as much.  That makes her ticked.  I think SHE wants to marry Sweet Little Blond Boy.  She thinks we should break up!" 

The Anarchist on the Alphabet:

  

"A is for Audi. J is for Jeep. H starts Honda. C starts Corvette and car. P is for Porsche. Oh, and H is for Hotwheels, too." 

"A B C D E F GEEE!!! H I DAY K ELMO ELMO PEES!"

‎"Letter Z is for ZEBRA!! Letter A is for ANARCHIST!!! Letter 6 is for zebra, TOO!! Letter 8 is for...Oh, no! Where did letter 8 go?! Letter 8 is missing! Oh, there is letter 8! Letter 8 is hiding in my bum!!!" (while playing with foam bath letters)

Partners in Crime:

the Dictator (proudly): "Look, Mama! I drew three beautiful pictures with my markers! They're wonderful!" 

the Anarchist (proudly): "Look, Mama! I drew on my tongue with my marker! Now it's blue!"

the Anarchist (on passing a Mexican restaurant):  "Mexico is ALL jacked up."

the Dictator: "No, Anarchist, it's just closed." 

the Anarchist: "No, Dictatew. Mexico is all jacked up!" 

the Dictator: "Mexico is NOT all jacked up, Anarachist. Mexico is just FINE!"

On health-related issues:

The Anarchist (on spying a girl in Downtown Plymouth with a lollipop):  

"Look Mama! That girl got a shot!" 

Me: "What makes you think she...ooohhh...because you get lollipops at the doctor's..." 

The Anarchist: "Yes. Hey Mama, I want a shot! I think I need a shot right now. How about I get a shot today?"

the Dictator with a "favor."

"Mama, I LOVE my boo boo!" (the Anarchist, upon receiving a post-vaccination lollipop)

"My nose is all snowy. It has icky brobees in it. And my ears are full of gabbas." (the anarchist on nasal congestion)

"I have a favor and a weather in my tummy!" (the Dictator at 3, with a stomach ache and a fever)

‎"Oh NO! I make a fart! POOR fart!" (the Anarchist...who else?)

On the Arts:

the Dictator (while riding trikes in the basement): "Hey Anarchist, what's your favorite speed?" 

the Anarchist: "Oh, I-I-I-I like adagio! I don't like allegro...I'd have to pedal so hard." 

the Dictator (anticipating her first dance recital):  "...and when the curtain rises, Anarchist, the stage will be flooded with spotlight and everyone will cheer for me as I do my beautiful dance. Ballerinas have to be very creative, Anarchist, when they dance on the stage."

the Anarchist:  "OHH!! I see a LEE-o-tard! Am I going to dance class? Miss Dance Teacher's going to say, 'Okay Anarchist!' in dance class. She's also going to say, 'It's your turn!' and "Shuffle, shuffle.' I can't WAIT for dance class. I LOVE dance class!"

 
"I am a professor of natural history and I come in peace." (a line from the Dictator's original Tinkerbell musical)

 

the Dictator (wearing a princess dress and singing in her most beautiful princess voice): "Just a little change, chickens in the East, both a little scared, no one really cared, Beauty and the Beast!!!"

"MY Mama is a big, fat Mama! She is SO big and fat and she is my Mama!" (the Anarchist's famed "Mama Song")

  

And this isn't the half of it.  Oh, how I love the things kids say!  More to come!